I Don't Know Who That Old Me Is Anymore

Jennifer Collins #mysalvationstory

I wish I was the child who heard the Lord's call early and followed Him eagerly. I didn’t. I RAN. I REBELLED! For a very long time. And there was a whole lot of darkness before there was light.

Along the way I did grow up in church. Attended a wonderful Christian school. Had great influences and many opportunities to accept Christ. I was baptized...TWICE actually! But what I didn’t understand...until I did...was that I didn’t need to have it all together for God to love me or want me. He actually wanted me just as I was. Broken.

I remember starting the pattern of lying as a teenager. Probably younger. Lying to make things more exciting. Lying to hide problems. Lying to keep relationships. It was exhausting! I was constantly hiding from the truth. The truth of who I actually was behind closed doors. Insecure, ashamed, and very lost. In the dark the enemy was able to lie to me as well. I listened. For 29 years.

Sitting in a grace-based church after a divorce, drugs, suicide attempts, alcohol, abortion, infidelity, and YEARS of running...I heard the voice of my Heavenly Father asking me to stop hiding. Stop running. Let him be my everything. Give him the opportunity to show up for me. He told me that His opinion was the only one that mattered. I could turn away from all my sin and start walking in TRUTH.

He adopted me that day. He called me by a NEW NAME and set me apart. I don’t know who that old me is anymore. But she is a part of God's marvelous testimony! God is still working things out in me. I struggle and am still prone to wander. But he gently draws me back in and reminds me of who He is in me. And if there is any light and joy in me...you must know, it’s from Him!

This is #mysalvationstory! If you want to talk about Jesus, if you have questions, if you are lost and don’t know how to make your way back... friend, I’ve been there. Just reach out, I got you.

Jennifer Collins